State of the Union, State of my Brain

I tried to watch it. Really. But as soon as he entered the room, I lapsed into semi-consciousness. I awoke at one point to some booing (Rude bastards those Dems) and then every few minutes. This is what I heard. I think. Yes,this was the exact text. Although I'm not sure if I got it all in the right order:

My fellow Americans

We've been placed in office by the votes of the people we serve.

As Franklin Roosevelt once reminded Americans, 'Each age is a dream that is dying or one that is coming to birth.'

To make our economy stronger and more competitive, America must reward, not punish, the efforts and dreams of entrepreneurs.

And we live in the country where the biggest dreams are born.

So we must free small businesses from needless regulation and protect honest job creators from junk lawsuits.

Justice is distorted and our economy is held back by irresponsible class actions and frivolous asbestos claims.

The abolition of slavery was only a dream. Our generation has dreams of its own.

We've been placed in office by the votes of the people we serve.

(APPLAUSE)

Nearly four years ago, I submitted a comprehensive energy strategy that encourages conservation, alternative sources, a modernized electricity grid and more production here at home, including safe, clean nuclear energy.

My Clear Skies legislation will cut power-plant pollution and improve the health of our citizens.

The system, however, on its current path, is headed toward bankruptcy.

We've been placed in office by the votes of the people we serve.

(APPLAUSE)

I recognize that 2018 and 2042 may seem a long way off. But those dates aren't so distant, as any parent will tell you. If you have a 5-year-old, you're already concerned about how you'll pay for college tuition 13 years down the road.

Taking on gang life will be one part of a broader outreach to at- risk youth, which involves parents and pastors, coaches and community leaders, in programs ranging from literacy to sports.

Tonight I propose a three-year initiative to help organizations keep young people out of gangs and show young men an ideal of manhood that respects women and rejects violence.

My budget substantially reduces or eliminates more than 150 government programs that are not getting results or duplicate current efforts or do not fulfill essential priorities.

And I am proud that the leader of this nationwide effort will be our first lady, Laura Bush.

(AUDIENCE BOOS)

For the good of families, children and society, I support a constitutional amendment to protect the institution of marriage.

Medical research can help us reach that goal, by developing treatments and cures that save lives and help people overcome disabilities.

(APPLAUSE)

Our second great responsibility to our children and grandchildren is to honor and to pass along the values that sustain a free society.

We should all be able to agree on some clear standards. I will work with Congress to ensure that human embryos are not created for experimentation or grown for body parts and that human life is never bought or sold as a commodity.

(APPLAUSE)

Some of our service men and women have survived terrible injuries, and this grateful country will do everything we can to help them recover.

And so we must join together to strengthen and save Social Security.

Because a society is measured by how it treats the weak and vulnerable, we must strive to build a culture of life.

One name we honor is Marine Corps Sergeant Byron Norwood of Pflugerville, Texas, who was killed during the assault on Fallujah.

We have given them training and equipment.

The principle here is clear: Taxpayer dollars must be spent wisely or not at all.

We've been placed in office by the votes of the people we serve.

Thank you. And may God bless America.

(AUDIENCE BOOS)

Or something like that...