Sunday, July 17, 2005

OSHA or Immigration? How To Tell The Difference

The latest edition of OSHA Quick Takes announced the following training:

Registration Open for Spanish-language Version of Worker Safety and Health Training

Spaces are still available for the Spanish-language version of the ten-hour general industry safety and health course being offered by OSHA and participating state agencies and universities in the Chicago area. The two-day course will take place Aug. 2-3 at Chicago's West Side Technical Institute, 2800 S. Western Avenue. A wide range of subjects will be covered including machine safeguarding, personal protective equipment, lockout/tagout, bloodborne pathogens, and more. Information on the training is available through Harry S. Truman College at (773) 907-3994 or (773) 907-4367 (bilingual).

But given the events in North Carolina last week where immigration officials lured undocumented workers into arrest by mandating a fake OSHA training, OSHA might want to make the following addition to the announcement:

Please be assured that this is REAL OSHA training offered by REAL OSHA officials. This is not a bust by immigration officials.

REALLY. We're from the government and we REALLY are here to help you. We will not check to see if you're documents are in order.

Just to make sure that the OSHA officials are real, call this number and ask for the secret OSHA password and handshake: (800) 555-1212.

If you're still not sure, here are some hints on how to tell an immigration official from an OSHA official:

  • Guys in short sleeve white shirts with laser pointers: OSHA
  • Guys in suits with earphones wired into their suit coats: Not OSHA
  • Cars with bumper stickers that say"OSHA Is Not A Town In Wisconsin:" OSHA
  • Lots of black SUVs and buses with bars on the windows: Not OSHA
  • Helicopters circling overhead: Not OSHA
  • People carrying lots of booklets and a powerpoint projector: OSHA
  • People carrying large assault weapons: Not OSHA
  • People wearing hardhats: OSHA
  • People wearing military helmets: Not OSHA
  • People announcing where the exits are: OSHA
  • People blocking the exits : Not OSHA

Finally, if you see a vehicle with "ICE" written on the side, we're not talking cold drinks or hielo: ICE stands for "Immigration and Customs Enforcement."

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